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  <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eggshaped</id>
  <title>it's time now</title>
  <subtitle>azraq(u)</subtitle>
  <author>
    <name>azraq(u)</name>
  </author>
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  <updated>2004-12-22T04:33:59Z</updated>
  <lj:journal userid="3585021" username="eggshaped" type="personal"/>
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  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eggshaped:3635</id>
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    <title>crossposted to redplasticglass</title>
    <published>2004-12-22T04:33:59Z</published>
    <updated>2004-12-22T04:33:59Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;b&gt;Title:&lt;/b&gt;  I've asked many people this question in the past:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name="cutid1"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;There are so many things I have wanted to say. Happy, nice, awful, angry, cruel things.  Pretty things. Poetry and words that are more heartfelt than most of the things that pass through my fingers to the keyboard at any given moment.  I realized there's no use because I've substituted these words with others and many more and it's old hat now.  Old, confused, abandoned hat that has been misunderstood and, well, that's what happens when you speak two different languages like it's the same one.  This is the fate of those poor, poor people who are forever too slow and, well, just slow.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Always find your words when it's far too late and everything is done and though I hesitate to say ruined, the word slips comfortably over my bones.  It's done.  That's all it is. Done.  Less fatalistic to think that way.  Best to think that way. This way, there's always hope.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Easily sidetracked.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Easy to lose focus.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Easy to forget.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Easy to lie. Even if it's baldfaced in its ass-backwardness and far more honest than any protestations of supposed subtlety, or subtle straightfowardness.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Let us bring it back to the schoolyard:  My oxymoron is better than your oxymoron.  So there.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;You're supposed to punch me now, so we can laugh it off and go play. Because we know none of this matters.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;For once, you're late.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;We touched once, and I forgot I wasn't a man, forgot I wasn't a woman, forgot everything for a single, sheer, joyous moment.  Remember?  Remember that?  A quiet melding of something.  I thought it was beautiful.  Maybe it was just me.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I like being me.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Like a clear, glowing bubble of light in the middle of the sky, held up by your words, and our words and our minds.  Where thought was pure and text was unnecessary and touch was something that wasn't limited by the physical.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;There was no end, no begining, no limits.  I think they call that infinity.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I think they call that god.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I lied. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;There is an end, and now that my feet are touching the ground again, I look towards the sky.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;For my 'uber mensch'.  Who's no longer there, of course.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;i&gt;"Hey, hey you. Yeah, you.  Teach me to fly."&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;love you.&lt;br /&gt;goodbye.</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eggshaped:3465</id>
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    <title>school poetry contest</title>
    <published>2004-11-10T01:46:34Z</published>
    <updated>2004-11-10T01:46:34Z</updated>
    <content type="html">my school has a poetry contest-with-publication and small prize money... and I was thinking of submitting a series of poems. Though.. I don't often write poetry so I was wondering if it was worth the try?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;i still have to go dig up the rules, but until then, what are the thoughts on what I've written and posted so far in general?</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eggshaped:3304</id>
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    <title>here's an old and unnamed poem I dug up.  i'm so sleepy, but i can't allow myself to sleep.</title>
    <published>2004-11-01T02:49:38Z</published>
    <updated>2004-11-01T12:57:13Z</updated>
    <content type="html">i can no longer read you&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;your words have become meaningless &lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;in a completely weighted sense&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;do not expect clarity &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;if reciprocation is not within the foreseeable future&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;-----------------------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;[edit] Actually...  now that I reread it, I almost think that the first line is all I really need to get the point across.  The rest seems extraneous.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Of course, a single line poem would be difficult to pass off without a lot of other poems around it of larger length. hrm</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eggshaped:3061</id>
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    <title>On the Rise Against Gravity (2)</title>
    <published>2004-08-31T13:26:32Z</published>
    <updated>2004-08-31T13:27:29Z</updated>
    <content type="html">sit in the dark seeing colors&lt;br /&gt;as straight boys speak of fisting&lt;br /&gt;and blond girls egg them on&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;stomach clenches in protest&lt;br /&gt;2 parts mentrual&lt;br /&gt;3 parts disgust&lt;br /&gt;try not to simply stand and run&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;the teacher has yet to arrive</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eggshaped:2727</id>
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    <title>a few older poems</title>
    <published>2004-08-29T16:43:52Z</published>
    <updated>2004-08-31T13:30:09Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;b&gt;jam artist is stream of concious in the mind's need to &lt;br /&gt;speak what the mouth refuses to say&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And in this moment there is&lt;br /&gt;truely an asphyxiation point&lt;br /&gt;between the me that is within you&lt;br /&gt;and the you that I want to see&lt;br /&gt;and the things we don't want to know about&lt;br /&gt;but do&lt;br /&gt;so pretend we shall&lt;br /&gt;and smile brightly&lt;br /&gt;while saying through that second mouth&lt;br /&gt;back of our head&lt;br /&gt;where mother keeps her eyes&lt;br /&gt;"You suck much. But I'll still say I know you."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;........... &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;Dude&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Club addict to dancing and high fashion in dark corners of dark places where I dream of sounds and feel the rhythm of pounding beats to sneakered feet on the squeaking waxed floors as we rush and scream and demand to win that final moment as ball-through-hoop gives its exultant swish of recognition in their eyes and that spark of intelligence that fades to nothing in class as they realize... I actually like chemistry. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;........... &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;unnamed poem&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;each breath takes &lt;br /&gt;to a different plane&lt;br /&gt;the thought that what you want from me&lt;br /&gt;is nothing like uncooked spam&lt;br /&gt;or the pink meat of &lt;br /&gt;your shower fresh flesh&lt;br /&gt;in delirious bliss of my mental imaginings&lt;br /&gt;unsatisfied either way&lt;br /&gt;we both&lt;br /&gt;drink the morning&lt;br /&gt;silently &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;........... &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;when night owls stay up too long&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I spend an afternoon&lt;br /&gt;Watching you from behind&lt;br /&gt;Realizing as you turn&lt;br /&gt;That I don't recognize you&lt;br /&gt;Under the glare of sunlight&lt;br /&gt;For the first time&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Twilight shadow is far kinder &lt;br /&gt;And as your lip curls&lt;br /&gt;With polite distaste&lt;br /&gt;I know&lt;br /&gt;I'm not much better</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eggshaped:2528</id>
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    <title>On the Rise Against Gravity (1)</title>
    <published>2004-08-28T02:37:18Z</published>
    <updated>2004-08-28T02:37:18Z</updated>
    <content type="html">I was happy once&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;For a single&lt;br /&gt;brilliant&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;day&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;You tell me it's you&lt;br /&gt;I lie, I lie, I lie&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Don't smile at me anymore</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eggshaped:2299</id>
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    <title>haiku attempt</title>
    <published>2004-08-08T22:34:50Z</published>
    <updated>2004-08-08T22:34:50Z</updated>
    <content type="html">a glass heart in hand&lt;br /&gt;orange clouds appear fake&lt;br /&gt;over steal girders</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eggshaped:2015</id>
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    <title>so I'm not sure how to approach this</title>
    <published>2004-07-11T23:26:03Z</published>
    <updated>2004-07-11T23:26:03Z</updated>
    <content type="html">So, I've decided on a short story to get my writing juices flowing.  Well, two somethings-- one for a sort of fantastical setting and one for a modern day contemporary setting.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The one I have issues wth is a story essentially based on some rp I've done. Pretty straight forward at first-- but the problem comes in when I throw in the twist part of the story.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;What I have is two worlds. Two narratives. And in each world, are the same main characters. Except that when the character in one world sleeps, he's dreaming of the other world-- where he's awake.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I'm not exactly sure if I should play with italics here... or perhaps actually have them run as a sort of zigzag pattern across the page?  Back and forth, back and forth between narrative blocs?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Or just have the two narratives in two seperate colors?</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eggshaped:1717</id>
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    <title>poem from a word: velcro (spur of the moment poetry)</title>
    <published>2004-07-05T22:43:45Z</published>
    <updated>2004-07-05T23:57:30Z</updated>
    <content type="html">your tongue&lt;br /&gt;like new velcro torn apart&lt;br /&gt;leaves little hairs trapped in your teeth&lt;br /&gt;and me feeling forever mussed&lt;br /&gt;neither of us content&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;------&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I don't often write poetry.  So any comments, suggestions....</content>
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